Taking a shot at vocals now…

Oct. 22, 2010, 8:16 p.m.
Really not sure whether to post this in a new thread or revive my old one, so I'm hoping the new thread thing won't rub anyone (namely the mods) the wrong way. Also, YouTube did unspeakable things to the sound quality of the song, so bear that in mind or download the mp3 for quality.

Anyway, where to begin. I finally got the tools to efficiently add lyrics to my songs, so this is just basically me playing around with that. Some will notice that it's a remix of the epic song Primus posted in the older thread…didn't get samples for it but whatever. I'd like to get some feedback on the vocals (production-wise that is, I already know the lyrics are pretty bad). As for the song as a whole, it's purely an experiment which is why the layout is so clumsy and lopsided; I just need opinions on the vocals.

[FONT=Arial Black]Download for Tolerable Quality[/FONT]

Three, two, one, here we go

You know I can't say for sure but it's been a long time
Since I hooked up my mic and layed down a rhyme
When I finished this beat and it sounded so nice
I told myself I gotta go and get my mic, all right
So here I am now singing the words to this song
As the background hippity-hop rolls along
You hear music like this, it's got a certain kind of force
Which I have seen for myself because I've seen the worst

The force that I'm talking 'bout you can't find a lot of
It's the force that I thought that we had moving between us, love
Until you left me, you said we
Should never be together and I didn't think I'd ever
Recover, seeing you with another man
A man who'd never be me again
I need to start getting better, seeing bright and sunny weather
Feeling light as a feather

The plan to get out of the hole that I'm in
Does not exist and I'm trapped in my own ring of sin
After running around and around in an endless loop
I see a crossroads where I can let go of you
Don't try to forgive me for the things that I've done
If I wanted that from you I wouldn't be on the run from
Myself, from myself you see
I don't take this shit lightly, it really ain't easy

To forgive myself or to forgive you either
And my message to you is not a note or a breeze
Or a nice one, and since I don't know what to do
The pressure in me is destroying my life so **** you!Lyrics
Oct. 30, 2010, 4:26 a.m.
Sounds pretty cool. Man does youtube fuck shit up, or what?

Gimme your hotmail so I can send you the samples for song. Also, this would sound dirty with a glitch hop beat, so if you can, send me the vocals; I'll try mangle some shit up.
Oct. 30, 2010, 4:37 a.m.
quite good, even for the shitty youtube quality.. you guys should work on a composition together, might come up with some new hit to overshadow the crap we have in society lately.
Oct. 30, 2010, 5:19 a.m.
I like where this thread is going.

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